I’m scared of the answer to this question. Honestly for many reasons that stem from mortality, my fear of making choices, and overall my fear of uncertainty. I like knowing what’s gonna happen before I even come close to the ending. I look up spoilers, I know all the songs before listening to a musical, I know all the plot twists and know all the behind-the-scenes on a movie before ever entering the theatre.

However I can’t know what’s going to happen to me in 10 Years

I know the answer that i have always thought, so here that is:
I’m going to be a lawyer, working behind a desk for decades doing work that I find important, or at least that I find to pay well. Where eventually I will retire and after decades of service I will sit back in my leather chair and talk to my husband about the weather.

That has been my planned future for 20 years, and in a few months it will make it to 21 years of my plan and be able to buy itself a drink at the bar. But recently, just like every other kid who has had a life plan from age 0, I have been doubting it. I don’t like that my plan fits in two sentences. I don’t like it’s simplicity, it’s lack of adaptation, it’s boredom and it’s failure to truly achieve something that makes me happy. I plan on doing it, plan on achieving it, and seeing what comes of my life as a result. However it doesn’t make me happy. So now there’s the next question

If Not that…then where do you plan on being?

I wish I could tell you, I want the spoilers, i want to know if i’m happy in 3652.5 days. I want to know if i’m happy in ten thousand days. I want to live a life where I wake up in the morning and am genuinely excited and stressed and worried and have infinite possibilities for what I want to achieve. I don’t want to be a footnote, I want to genuinely change the way people around me view the world, and I want to make the world be the people around me.

I know this is not the happiest-go-lucky view on the future, there isn’t a hopeful dream I can tell you. Maybe i’ll be a news anchor, maybe i’ll be a big youtuber, maybe i’ll be a professional gamer, maybe i’ll be a congressman. I have 0 clue what the future holds for someone like me, but I do know that my answer to this question has changed. It went from ending with a period, to a question mark, to a “…” as I realized that what I wanted from my youth isn’t what I want anymore.

My answer went from the adult answer, to the little kid answer like a career day Benjamin Button, and the one thing I can say about this, is that I am so genuinely excited to see what my insane mind does and where it takes me. Let’s hope together it is for the better and to a place that I can only dream of.